Lyrics:

It is cool to see your parents get older though and not care anymore
'Cause there's seven kids in my family
They were as strict as you could be
But now they're grandparents
My one brother's got three boys
They're four, two, and nothing, whatever you
Whatever you call that, I don't know, it's new
And my parents volunteered to babysit for three days
While him and his wife went away
I said, 'Oh, I'll come down and help you for a couple days
I'm off in the middle, sure I'll help'
And my dad, very patient
My mom, mm, still not even 'til this day
She told the older one, 'Patrick, I need you to put the iPad down'
He goes, 'No'
Wow, now look at the guts on him
She, she told me to eat a pill, and I just did it
At this age, like, I don't even, I dunno
I didn't even look at what color it was
That's how obedient I am
Wow, look at this guy
Look at this guy, four, no
She said, 'Patrick, I'm not kidding, I said put the iPad down'
He goes, 'No'
And he shut the door right at, right at her
And my mom unravels
'Jack, Jack, did you see what he did, Jack'
'Did you see what he, oh, I'm gonna fucking beat him'
Vicky, Vicky, you are 70, he is four
Get a handle on yourself
Get a handle on yourself
We can't reparent these people in three days
I don't care what goes on here
It's our job to get out alive, okay?
I don't
I don't care if he eats the iPad, I don't
We'll buy another iPad
That's what we'll do
All I know is two hours before they get home
We're gonna shower the three of them
Put them on the couch and go, they were lovely
And then we're going to the casino
That's how this is gonna end
That's how this is gonna end