Lyrics:

I worked all week each month this fall
And also had myself a ball
I punched a clock each day like most
And also shopped the whole east coast

There ain’t no tellin' where I'll be
Because of late there's two of me
And one has tons of fun for free
With my stolen identity (my stolen identity)

I bought two suits in Baltimore
And jewelry on the Jersey shore
I popped up next in Portland, Maine
For lobster tails and French champagne

There ain’t no tellin' where I'll be
Because of late there's two of me
And one has tons of fun for free
With my stolen identity (my stolen identity)

What have I done?
Where have I been?
The information's rollin' in
A paper trail comes in the mail
I'd like to put myself in jail

An evening out on Harvard Square
I really lived it up, up there
I did it all
I got around
And not once left my old hometown

There ain’t no tellin' where I'll be
Because of late there's two of me
And one has tons of fun for free
With my stolen identity (my stolen identity)

[Instrumental Bridge]
There ain’t no tellin' where I'll be
Because of late there's two of me

I've got to stop myself somehow
I have become a problem now
I really should be done with it
But I just don't know when to quit

I hope to meet myself someday
That is the man whose bills I pay
We'll both get wined and caviar’ed
If he'll pull out a credit card

There ain’t no tellin' where I'll be
Because of late there's two of me
And one has tons of fun for free
With my stolen identity (my stolen identity)

[Instrumental Interlude]

There ain’t no tellin' where I'll be
Because of late there's two of me

An angry husband's at my door
I have not met his wife before
He's not convinced and wants to fight
I guess I had some fun last night!

There ain’t no tellin' where I'll be
Because of late there's two of me
And one has tons of fun for free
With my stolen identity (my stolen identity)
With my stolen identity (with my stolen identity)