Lyrics:

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Rolf Harris - Stairway to Heaven
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Rolf's spoken asides are in (brackets)

[Spoken:]
There's an old Australian stockman, er, rock band
Trying, but dying
They get themselves up onto their collective elbows
Revert to their sixties instrumentation
And they try again

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
All together now, and she's buying a stairway to heaven
When she gets there she knows, if those stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for
All together now, with a word she can get what she came for

Ooh and it makes me wonder
(How does it affect you blokes?) Ooh and it makes us wonder
(That's interesting that, yeah)

There's a sign on the wall, but she wants to be sure
'Cos you know words sometimes have two meanings
All together now, 'cos you know words sometimes have two meanings

(A lot of words have two meanings
Um, like in this song the word to buy
Buying a stairway to heaven, bought
[pause] oh no, that's brought isn't it
Well, er, there's lots of words have two meanings)

In the tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven
All together now, sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven

(Miss Given? Just change instruments now. Thankyou very much.
Miss Given ladies and gentlemen. Isn't it nice to have your name mentioned in the song?
Isn't that good. Lovely lady)

[didgerydoo instrumental]

(Quick burst of applause for Ross there, on the free trembler - good one
Can I change instruments again? Thank you.
[clears throat] Nearly finished [laughs])

There's a lady I'm sure that I've mentioned before (yes I did, yes)
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
All together now, and she's buying a stairway to heaven

Ooh and it makes me wonder
Ooh and it makes us wonder
Ooh and it makes us wonder
It makes us wonder

[laughs]