Lyrics:

Uh-huh
Extra cheese
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Save a piece for me

Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
Nineteen extra larges
What a shame, no one came
Just us eatin' all alone
You said, 'Take the pizza home'
'No sense lettin' all this
Go to waste', so then I faced

Pizza all day and every day
This cheese round the clock is gettin' me blocked
And I sure don't care for irregular-
Ity, tell me

Why'd you have to go and make me so
Constipated? 'Cause right now I'd do
Anything to just get my bowels evacuated
In the bathroom
I sit and I wait and I strain
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain, oh
Should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?
No, no, no

I was feelin' pretty down
'Til my girlfriend came around
We're just so alike in
Every way, I gotta say
In fact, I just thought I might
Pop the question there that night
I was kissin' her so
Tenderly but woe is me

Who woulda guessed her family crest
I'd suddenly spy tattooed on her thigh
And son-of-a-gun, it's just like the one
On me, tell me

How was I supposed to know we were both
Related? Believe me, if I
Knew she was my cousin, we never woulda
Dated, what to do now?
Should I go ahead and propose
And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes and
Move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?

No, no, no
(No, no, no, no) No, no, no
(No, no, no, no) No, no, no
(No, no, no, no) No, no, no
(No, no, no, no) Ooh

I had so much on my mind
I thought maybe I'd unwind
Try out that new roller-
Coaster ride and the guide

Said not to stand but that's a demand
That I couldn't meet, I got on my feet
And stood up instead and knocked off my head
You see, tell me

Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?
This really is a
Major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it
Such a drag, now
Can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore
I can't belch or yodel anymore, can't
Spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated
Oh, no
Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated?
(Yeah, yeah) I gotta tell ya
Life without a head kinda makes me irritated
What a bummer
Can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeze
But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now
Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated
No, no, no