Lyrics:

I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Bigfoot, too
Get me on Sally Jessy, put me on Donahue
'Cause I wanna tell the world about it right now
My dog's a narcoleptic, my mom's a circus freak
I gotta get a spot on Geraldo's show this week
'Cause I wanna tell the world about it right now
I'm just an anorexic, codependent, bingo addict
Stripper born without a chin
And I'm only comfortable talking about it
When the whole wide world is listening in
Talk soup
Talk soup
Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me
My wife ran off with Elvis, my boss shaved off my hair
I've got a thing for poodles and rubber underwear
And I wanna tell the world about it right now
I had a close encounter, I never chew my food
I got eleven nose jobs, I yodel in the nude
And I wanna tell the world about it right now
I'm just a cross-dressin', alcoholic, neo-Nazi
Porno star, as you may have guessed
And I'm really gonna feel a whole lot better
If you let me get this thing off my chest

Talk soup
Talk soup
Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me
I'm just your average schizophrenic, nymphomaniac
Albino go-go dancer, you see
Nothin' so bad that I can't share it
With a billion friends on national TV
I have no genitalia, I sold my kids for cheese
I love my blow up doll, so bring out those cameras, please
'Cause I gotta tell the world about it right now
Talk soup
Talk soup
Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me
Talk soup
Talk soup
Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me
Talk soup
Talk soup
Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me
Talk soup
Talk soup
Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me