Lyrics:

I Know Seymour's The Greatest
but I'm Dating A Semi-Sadist
so I've Got A Black Eye
and My Arm's In A Cast

still, That Seymour's A Cutie
well, If Not, He's Got Inner Beauty
and I Dream Of A Place
where We Could Be Together At Last-

a Matchbox Of Our Own
a Fence Of Real Chain Link
a Grill Out On The Patio
disposal In The Sink
a Washer And A Dryer And
an Ironing Machine
in A Tract House That We Share
somewhere That's Green

he Rakes And Trims The Grass
he Loves To Mow And Weed
i Cook Like Betty Crocker
and I Look Like Donna Reed
there's Plastic On The Furniture
to Keep It Neat And Clean
in The Pine-Sol Scented Air
somewhere That's Green

between Our Frozen Dinner
and Our Bed-Time Nine-Fifteen
we Snuggle Watching Lucy
on Our Big, Enormous
twelve-Inch Screen

i'm His December Bride
he's Father, He Knows Best
the Kids Play Howdy Doody
as The Sun Sets In The West
a Picture Out Of Better Homes
and Gardens Magazine
far From Skid Row
i Dream We'll Go
somewhere That's... Green