Lyrics:

COLIN ZEAL KNOWS THE VALUE OF MASS APPEAL
HE'S A PEDESTRIAN WALKER, HE'S A CIVIL TALKER
HE'S AN APFABLE MAN WITH A PLAUSIBLE PLAN
KEEPS HIS EYE ON THE NEWS, KEEPS HIS FUTRURE IN HAND
AND THEN HE

[CHORUS]
LOOKS AT HIS WATCH HE'S ON TIME YET AGAIN
HE'S PLEASED WITH HIMSELF, SO PLEASED WITH HIMSELF, HE'S
PLEASED WITH HIMSELF AH AH.

WHILE SITTING IN TRAFFIC, COLIN THINKS IN AUTOMATIC
HE'S AN IMMACULATE DRESSER, HE'S THE COMMON AGGRESSOR
HE'S A MODERN RETARD WITH A LOVE OF BOMBLAST
KEEPS HIS EYE ON THE NEWS NEVER DWELLS ON THE PAST
AND THEN HE

[CHORUS]

HE'S A MODERN RETRARD, HE'S A TERMINAL LARD,
HE'S AN AFFABLE MAN WITH A CARROTENE TAN BECAUSE COLIN'S ZEAL IS
ILL