Lyrics:

I don't have much to offer
Or anything at all
I look like death warmed over
You're like a living doll

Okay, I may be the worst that you have seen
But I'm King Dork, and I want you to be my queen
Ee-een, ee-een, whoa-oh-oh
I'm King Dork, and I want you to be my queen

You're too dear to put a price on
And when I talk to you
You're more than Monty Python, Star Trek, or Dr. Who

You're much more than MST3K or D&D
Yeah, I'm King Dork, and I want you to be with me
Ee-ee, ee-ee, whoa-oh-oh
I'm King Dork, and I want you to be with me

Once you get used to it
Maybe you could love me just a little bit
Would that be such a catastrophe?
So don't start screaming yet
Just lower your standards and get set
Whatever it takes, however it has to be

Those other girls can't stand me
There's none as fair as you
But if they see you and me
It might embarrass you

So we'll go where they will never see, yeah
I'm King Dork, and I want you to be with me
Ee-ee, ee-ee, whoa-oh-oh
I'm King Dork, and I want you to be my
I'm King Dork, and I want you to be my
I'm King Dork, and I want you to be my queen