Lyrics:

Bill Payne, Lowell George

Crazy Captain Gunboat Willie
Growled out his commands
And all the able seamen
Clicked their heels and swore
They would protect the noble ship
In peace-time and in war

And they danced a jig until the dawn
Sang a loyal sailors song
Drank a pot of steaming rum
Did all the things that loyal sailors do

Captain Bill expressed great glee
All the things that he had planned
Were made to go his way
All the fares he had collected and salted away
Made his lips turn in a smile

Just then Luke the rat from down below
Called to Gunboat Bill
He said
Listen to those madmen wail
They've been at sea for ninety days
Without the sight of land
No it doesn't look so good to me
No it doesn't look so good at all

The captain pondered what the rat had said
Until he could think of nothing more
Then he threw his crew into the foaming sea
At least a thousand miles from shore

And he danced a jig until the dawn
Sang a loyal captain's song
Drank a pot of steaming rum
Did all the things that loyal captains do

The rat looked hard at Gunboat Bill
And he said in a serious style
As he leapt into the water
Don't believe, no don't believe
Don't believe everything that you hear