Lyrics:

Ho, ho, ho
Hey man, did you hear that
Hey everybody, Santa's here!
Aw, there ain't no Santa Claus
Yes, there is (there is too!)
He's here!
Ho, ho, ho Merry Christmas!
Aw shit, it's Red Peters!
C'mon, you swinging hamsters, get over here
We're gonna sing us a happy Christmas song
Oh no, not another corny stupid song!
Yeah, no way
Yeah, you tell him Raleigh
Get over here and sing or I'll wring your little necks
Okay, okay, okay jeez
Grab your nuts hamsters, gather round with me
Forget about all that teasin'
We're breaking out the holly and aluminum tree
'Cause it's that jolly season (oh, boy)
I know you've been naughty, but have you been nice?
That's only Santa's business (that's right, Red)
He's making his list and he's checking it twice (oh, oh)
Holy shit, it's Christmas!
Santa comes just once a year (tell 'em, Hamsters)
Just like you, Re, that's what we hear (hey, wait a minute)
He's got a soft spot for reindeer (that's nice)
Especially Rudolph's derrière
Hey, knock it off fellas. It's a holiday
Go on, give Santa a big kiss (no way)
You can play 'hide the hamster' on the one-horse sleigh (hey, wait a minute)
Holy shit, it's Christmas

Hey what happened to my lyric sheet?
Anyone seen my lyric sh—?
Heck, we don't need no lyric sheets, Red
We know our parts by heart, right, fellas? (Yeah sure, I know my part) (yeah, me too)
Well, that's great, guys. I love Christmas songs
Santa tried reaching up the neighbor's blouse
After drinking all the eggnog (is that necessary?)
Camped out in the bathroom for an hour or two
Squashing off a yule log (Godfrey)
He wandered in his undies all over the house
But we made him our own business (oh, brothers)
'Til we caught him stuffing hamsters up a gift wrap tube
Holy shit, it's Christmas
Santa comes just once a year
Up the chimney he'll disappear
Keep on the lookout for Mr. Gear
Hamster deliveries in the rear (gimme those lyrics)
Roast nuts chestin' on an open fire
Santa's tongue stuck to the doorknob (what?)
His balls got fondled by a caroling choir
While the parson gave him a hand (what?)
The sleigh came down and took him away
The whole damn crowd was dismissed
'Cause it's a time to be jolly and a time to be gay
Holy shit, it's Christmas (holy shit, it's Christmas)
Holy shit, it's Christmas
Holy Shit! It's Christmas!