Lyrics:

Opening night, it's opening night

It's Max Bialystock's latest show
Will it flop or will it go?
The cast is taking its final bow
Here comes the audience now

The doors are open, they're on their way
Let's hear what they have to say

He's done it again
He's done it again
Max Bialystock has done it again

We can't believe it
You can't conceive it
How'd he achieve it?
It's the worst show in town

We sat there sighing
Groaning and crying
There's no denying
It's the worst show in town

Oh, we wanted to stand up and hiss
We've seen shit, but never like this

Max Bialystock has done it again
The songs were rotten
The book was stinkin'
What he did to Shakespeare
Booth did to Lincoln

We couldn't leave faster, what a disaster
We are still in shock
Who produced this schlock?
That slimy, sleazy Max Bialystock

What a bum!