Lyrics:

My Girlfriend Left Me For A Seven Foot Indian
my Grandma Hung Herself On A Tree In The Caribbean
my Sister's On The Dope And My Brother Always Picks His Nose
and Daddy's Only Happy When He's Wearing Mama's Pantyhose, Yeah
i Just Lost My Job To A God Damn Robot (Good Times!)
then My Dog Got In The Freeze Box, He Ate Everything I Got
but I've Got My Mule
he's A Very, Very Nice Mule
he Walks With Me Home From School
cause He's A Very, Very Nice Mule
when He Was A Baby My Mother Fed Him Gruel
but Now He Prefers To Dine On His Own Stool
he Always Philosophizes With The Rabbis After Shul
cause He's A Very, Very Pious Mule
when He Sees A Picture Of A Carrot He Has A Tendency To Druel
on Halloween He Tries To Scare Me By Dressing Up As A Ghoul
he Once Challenged Someone Who Stole My Hat To A Duel

cause He's A Very, Very Old School Mule
a Needle-Nosed Plier Is His Favorite Tool
he Lifeguards On A Volunteer Basis And The Rec. Center Pool
when I Break Down On The Side Of The Road He Shows Up With Unleaded Fuel
he's A Devoted Fan Of Ms. Paula Abdul
and Also Approves Of The Recent Makeover Of Former Folkie Jewel
(Coughing)
when I Told Him Halle Berry's Husband Cheated He Just Shook His Head And Said To Himself 'what A Fool'
cause He's A Very, Very Monogamous Mule
(Snoring) Porkchop! Wake Up, Man, The Session's Not Over!
after Several Well-Publicized Arrests For Public Urination He Now Drinks Exclusively O'doul
and Every Year He Puts On A Presentation At The Boys Club To Show Kids Smoking Isn't Cool
his Favorite Elvis Song Is 'don't Be Cruel', No It's 'hound Dog'
i Was Just Kidding You