Lyrics:

Well, if things could talk then I'm sure you'd hear A lot of things to make you cry my dear Ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] Oh, ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] Ain't you glad [Glad] Glad that things don't talk Now, if shoes could tell where they've been When you say you've been visiting a friend Ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] He-he-hey, ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] But ain't you glad [Glad] Glad that shoes don't talk Now, if doors could tell who's turned the knob When he's away out on his job If cars could tell who's been inside And who's been taking you out for a ride Ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] Oh, ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] But ain't you glad [Glad] Glad that cars don't talk In a world of trouble I'd be If things ever told on me My whole life would be through 'Cause I'm guilty, how about you ? If things ever talk that way Ain't no telling what they might say Ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] Oh, ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] Ain't you glad [Glad] Glad that things don't talk