Lyrics:

Shopping spree for the family tree haven't seen your family tree In quite a while. Too many sandwiches and wine Sherry stains down your best mans tie what a speech. The band arrives the granny's cry Singers tongue's in the barmaids mouth what a voice. Grandpa drunk a drop or two his heads still stuck in the portaloo. What a man You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breasts. The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight. You got a diamond ring and a man who sings the man who sings. Made love to the barmaid twice and that's just tonight. The blue rinsed hairs lift up their chairs the bands too loud. They're off down stairs what a noise. The bride and groom they dance their dance. The singer mimes and there's still a chance the barmaid smiles.