Lyrics:

The master playwright
Urges you to play right/play wrong;
Life is long and every night's the first night.

The wardrobe mistress
Urges you to dress left/dress right;
What a mess when your underpants are too tight.

Who's on the stage door
To help you find the way in/way out?
It's not a sin to be knowing that you don't know.

When you breathe your last line
Will you make your exit stage left/stage right?
Well, you might decide while there's still time.

You have an angel on your shoulder
But you wear the old god's horns.
And you dance around the maypole
While the vicar makes a toast
To the pagan celebration
And extends an invitation to us all
So he can save us when we fall.

Who's your leading lady?
Will you help to get her off the bus? It's best
to pass the test before you get too lazy.

Strike up the orchestra.
Take your cues on the up-beat/Beat down
Anyone who says he doesn't like the sound.