Lyrics:

This is it! The world premiere!
Of... The Spongetard Song
Begins in 3! 2! 1!
Spongetard
Beginning now!
Be prepared to enter a world! A retarded world!
All your favorite characters:
Spongetard
Patrick Tard
And... Squidtard...
Star in The Spongetard Song!
Premiering now..
Get ready...
3... 2... 1... Go

Are you ready quiet kids!...
I can't hear you!...
Are you ready mentally challenged kids!
Duhuhuhhuhhhkaptain!
Ohhhhhh!!!

My name's Spongetard, dai-ai-ai!
At the Krusty Krab I flip patti!
I live inside a house of fruit
Now hear me play my Spong?tard flute!

My name's Patrick , let it b? known!
That I have an extra chromosome!
I go to the special class
And huff fumes of Elmer glue gas!

I am Squidtard, that's my name
People think my helmet's lame
But wearing it is very good
Since I love hitting my head on wood!

Spongetard!
Patrick Tard!
Squidtard!
And friends!
Ba-ha-ha-ba-ha!

My name's Spongetard, dai-ai-ai!
At the Krusty Krab I flip patti!
I live inside a house of fruit
Now hear me play my Spongetard flute!

Sp-Sp-Spongetard!
Squidtard
And friends! And friends! And friends!

What do you do with a drunken retard?
What do you do with a drunken retard?
What do you do with a drunken retard?
What do you do with a drunken retard?
What do you do with a drunken retard?
What do you do with a drunken retard?
What do you do with a drunken retard?
What do you do with a drunken retard?
Yeeaarg!
We are the quiet pirates who sail the special seas!
Duh huh huh and a bottle of vaccines!
Don't come three paces east tomorrow!
Fire the cannons, in the public school!
Yar har har!
This is what ye get for touching me fidget blunderbuss!
Yar har har, duh huh huh, yeearrrg...

I'm a retard!