Lyrics:

She slagged Helen Garner, he said 'You're right'
He shook his dreadlocks and condemned Wayne Carey
She offered him tofu; both were quite hairy -

There's gonna be sex tonight

Interval at the theatre - they both hit it off
Discussing the meaning of Anton Chekhov;
The director they hated, the actress? - they panned her;
What they acted out later weren't exactly Uncle Vania

On the deck of the boat she pointed out east
Said 'A whale is in fact an air breathing beast'
He really liked nature; he was out of the slammer
He had a gram of cocaine and a video camera

He was knocking on doors; she was watchin' television
He said 'Money for the kids? I'm collecting for World Vision'
Her heart was full of pity for a world full of grief
He donated to a charity she called Hand Relief