Lyrics:

[spoken]
In Chicago where I live, there's an outfit that'd tow almost
anything off the street. But they deal mostly with automobiles.
And we call 'em the Lincoln Park Pirates

The streetlamps are on in Chicago tonight
And lovers are gazing at stars
The stores are all closin'
And Daley is dozin' and the fatman's counting the cars
And there's more cars than places to put 'em, he said
But I got room for them all
So round 'em up boys
'cause I want some more toys
Hit the lot by the grocery store

To me way, hey
Tow them away
The Lincoln Park Pirates are we
From Wilmette to Gary
There's nothing so hairy
And we always collect our fee

To me way, hey
Tow them away
We plunder the streets of your town
Be it Edsel or Chevy there's no car too heavy
And no one can make us shut down

We break into cars when we gotta
With pick axe and hammer and saw
And they said this garage had no license
But little care I for the law
All my drivers are friendly and courteous
Their good manners ya always will get
'Cause they all are recent graduates of the charm school in
Joliet

To me way, hey
Tow them away
The Lincoln Park Pirates are we
From Wilmette to Gary
There's nothing so hairy
And we always collect our fee

To me way, hey
Tow them away
We plunder the streets of your town
Be it Edsel or Chevy there's no car to heavy
And no one can make us shut down

And when all the cars are collected
And all of their fenders are ruined
Then I'll tow every boat in Belmont Harbor
To the Lincoln Park Lagoon
And when I've collected the ransom
And sunk all the ones that won't yield
Then I'll tow all the planes that are blocking the runways
At Midway, O'Hare and Meigs Field

To me way, hey
Tow them away
The Lincoln Park Pirates are we
From Wilmette to Gary
There's nothing so hairy
And we always collect are fee

To me way, hey
Tow them away
Now citizens gather around
And I think it's enough
And let's call his bluff
Let's tow the bum out of town