Lyrics:

Conscience: Hello, patient 24602
Bo: Hey what's up?
Conscience: How are you feeling?
Bo: Not good
Conscience: Has the treatment been working?
Bo: No, not really
Conscience: What are your remaining symptoms?
Bo: I hate myself, I internalize my feelings, I'm not good with other people, I don't know if I'm real or not
Conscience: Blah, blah, blah, you're such a fucking pussy
Bo: Real mature, real fucking mature, conscience
Conscience: I'm just messing around, Bo. Your problem is simple: your emotion and logic are at war
Your creativity and analysis are at war and most simply, your left and right brain are at war
To fix the problem we must separate them from each other
Splitting your neurological functions in
5... 4... 3.. 2.. 1
Bo: Wait, can't you just schedule an appointment?
Conscience: This may hurt a bit, 0

Isolation complete
This is Bo's left brain, objective, logical, cold, analytical
Aware of patterns aware of trends he's efficient, and a prick

This is Bo's right brain subjective, creative, sensory
Aware of feelings, aware of people, he's emotional, and an idiot
Okay boys play nice

Left Brain: I am the Left Brain, I am the left brain
I work really hard until my inevitable death brain
You got a job you better do it right in the right way with the left brain's might

Right Brain: I get happy when I smell cookies (haha cookies!)
And I cry for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3
Cause I am the Right Brain, I have feelings, I'm a little all over the place but I'm lustful and trustful and I'm looking for somebody to love.. Or put my penis in

Left Brain: Here comes a female, here comes a female
Puff your chest up take your phone out and check your email
Or evolutionary purpose is to repopulate
So gather data now and see if she's a possible mate

Right Brain: Holy fuck I think she might be the one, there's something about her, I just can't describe it
Left Brain: Boobs
Right Brain: I am the earth, she is the glorious sun
I want her to trust me and I want her to sit on my fucking face!
Left Brain: Alright now, right brain, you're being insane
Right Brain: No, Left Brain, I'm just being alive
You should try it, you might like it

Left Brain: I worked hard to give him everything he cared about
You were worried about the things he was scared about
I'm calm and collective when you act wild
I am the adult you are child

Right Brain: You think you're the right one every time
You think you know everything but you don't know anything at all
Half of his problems were supposed to be mine
But you wanted everything I hope that you're happy because he's sure not

Left Brain: Well according to my calculations, I'm sorry just let me run this again, you're a giant pussy

Right Brain: Really name calling? Really name calling?

Left Brain: I'm name calling names alright, I'm just stating facts alright, the fact is you're a gigantic pussy

Right Brain: I'm the pussy? Really? Well at least I don't play with toys still

Left Brain: Rubix cubes are not toys alright, they keep my spacial rethink skills.. sharp

Right Brain: Left Brain plays with toys! Haha, fucking, toy player

Left Brain: Well at least I did my fucking job, I kept him working, I kept him productive
You were supposed to look after him
You were supposed to keep him emotionally stable for all this
Now you're trying to blame me for how he's feeling, how he's feeling!
If he's feeling unhappy it's because you failed him
You did this to him, he hates you I know he does, he fucking hates you!

Right Brain: *sobs*

Left Brain: Right brain I'm sorry, okay?

Right Brain: No you're not

Left Brain: Look, maybe there's something we can do together

Right Brain: Together?

Left Brain: Take the best parts of both of us and put them together
It would let you let your feelings out, it would let me analyze
It's something that George Carlin did, It's something Steve Martin did
It's something special we can both perform, do you know what it is?

Right Brain: Oral sex on ourselves, we could suck each other's dicks because no one is gonna suck our dicks for us!

Left Brain: It was comedy, you, fuck it, we could do comedy...

Conscience: Initiating reassembly

Left Brain: Alright look, we’re gonna do comedy together okay?

Right brain: Okay

Left Brain: Okay here we go

Right Brain: Left Brain… I love you!

Left Brain: ...I know