Widow Jones couldn't make it on her own Frank was 'lectrafied leaving six kids half grown In her misery she sent for me the singer of sad songs And I sympathized and eulogized Frank Jones And she cried singer of sad songs I need your services today Doctor of broken hearts I'll wash your clothes and mend your socks for your pay Farmer Brown had always dreamed of city lights Mini skirts on pretty girls were in his sights So one early morn he left his corn to harvest a field of sin Mrs Brown called me shortly after three a.m And she cried singer of sad songs I need your services today Doctor of broken hearts got some early hybrid corn for your pay Lovely Lucy sat there sippin' a glass of wine She was at the church waitin' till after nine But the groom to be was somewhere free with a case of yellow spine Lovely Lucy she's still a virgin and that's a crime And she cried singer of sad songs I need your services today Doctor of broken hearts got a slightly used diamond for your pay