Lyrics:

--Christian Rock--
I woke up in the morning,
And I got myself some oatmeal,
And I put some raisins on it and,
Christ is God,
Christ is God,
God, God, God...

--Jewish Rock--
I woke up in the morning,
And I got myself some lox and bagels,
And I put some cream cheese on them and,
Christ isn't God,
He's just not God,
He's a really nice guy but don't get carried away...

--Atheist Rock--
I woke up in the morning,
And I got myself a whole box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch,
'cause I just don't care anymore,
And there is no God,
Sorry about that,
Your Grandma's in the ground and her soul's stayin' there...

--Agnostic Rock--
I woke up in the morning,
And I got myself some organic wheat puffs,
And I put some soy milk on them and,
There might be a God,
There's really no way to know,
He might be a fish or he might be a spoon...

All I wanted was a song about oatmeal.