[Verse 1] Hello and hallelujah for the Wheel of Fortune Thank God they got a selection of men they can auction Be him black be him white Rude, stink or polite They got catalogue you know Honey Dips hold tight Form a line form a line Behind me U know what I'm sayin' I bin waiting since last year child I'm not playin' Imo find myself somebody if it takes all week Find me a piece of butt and no longer will I seek
[Verse 2] First off I got a drug dealer A heart stealer Bucks hangin' out his butt To him it was no big deal Bought me this bought me that Tried to spread me forget that My name was not Country Crock You big Spock-looking muskrat Having money don't make you God Find yourself a hole for you to stick your rod No no no we can't be lovers No no no we can't be friends Only one thing left to do Have to spin again
[Verse 3] The second was a bum crumb Nothing having mug Personality OK but face looking like a pug He said 'Come over to my house and watch movies' I said who me so that you can do me Not that I would but at least the dealer would have paid You don't want to spend no money and you wanna get laid Back off! Here's a dollar and the deal Treat yourself to White Castle's For me it's back to the wheel
[Verse 4] The third was a white collar working in Manhattan When he walked when he talked When he ate there was a pattern He tried to change the way I dressed and I talked Showing me the difference In the different types of forks I said 'hey Mr. Connoiseur, you can stuff it' You gotta love me for me or love nothin' Take your forks and shove 'em all Where the sun don't shine And I'm back to spin the wheel just one more time
[Verse 5] The final was a cop from up the block The type that catches kids From picking next door neighbor's locks He liked to keep tabs Don't you know he was a psycho He also liked to hit I said well now it's time that I go I said don't touch me you might lose your nutz I'll stick 'em in a pickle jar and wouldn't give a butt Keep your hands to yourself if you know what I'm sayin' There's a knife in my bag Brother man I'm not playin' ya know
[Verse 6] There you go there you have it Wheel of fortune didn't work Instead of meetin' gentlemen I met a bunch of jerks One wid too much money the other not a cent One too snobby and the other had no sense I guess for Monie it's right back to the drawling board How long will it be before I actually score I gotta find somebody to unleash all this affection I know what Imo do I think I'll try the Love Connection