Lyrics:

The kettle's on, the milkman's been and gone
Salamander's coming round for some
I haven't seen her now for about a month
It's always the same: gives me the run-around

Salamander's rag time
So we'll sit in and watch the telly
Turning both my knees to jelly
But I really wouldn't mind

I cunningly suggest a game of chess
It is the game I like to play the best
I move my bishop to her queen's front door
She lost her diary on the bus, forgot to keep the score

Salamander's rag time
So we'll sit in and watch the telly
Turning both my knees to jelly
But I really wouldn't mind

No, I really wouldn't mind
Well, I really wouldn't mind
Oh, I really wouldn't mind
Well, I really wouldn't mind
I really wouldn't mind

Take an aspirin, fall asleep
I can't touch her for a three-day week
But I really wouldn't mind

The kettle's on, the milkman's been and gone
Salamander's coming round for some
I haven't seen her now for about a month
It's always the same: gives me the run-around

Salamander's rag time
So we'll sit in and watch the telly
Turning both my knees to jelly
But I really wouldn't mind

Salamander's rag time
So we'll sit in and watch the telly
Turning both my knees to jelly
But I really wouldn't mind

No, I really wouldn't mind
Well, I really wouldn't mind
Oh, I really wouldn't mind
Well, I really wouldn't mind
I really wouldn't mind

I really wouldn't mind
Well, I really wouldn't mind
Well, I really wouldn't mind
No, I really wouldn't mind
I really wouldn't mind
I wouldn't mind