Lyrics:

In the beginning man wondered to himself
Why, oh why are we here?
And yet with each asking of this question
The answer would become even less clear
Overwhelmed by fear, distraction took its place
And so its was in the world's first shelter
That we began the human race
The human race to fill up more and more empty space
Oh how we loved the human race

Until one day this one guy said to this other guy
He said, 'Hey you see that guy over there?
'He's got more than everybody else has got
'To me that don't seem fair.'
Well the second guy agreed with the first guy
Everybody else did too
'Til they all got so worked up
They figured there was something they just had to do:
Divide his things up among each other
After they killed him of course
For they could see no real good reason
Not to just take what they wanted by force

But when they found him he said, 'Hey wait a minute, fellas
'I wouldn't kill me just now
'You can see that I've got more than any of you have ever got;
'Wouldn't you first at least like to know how?'
And with that he had their attention
And with that he went on loud and clear
He said, 'You all know how long we've all wondered
'Why, oh why are we here?
'Well today I'm gonna tell you all about it
'I'm gonna teach you about suffering and bliss
'I'm gonna teach you a little about heaven and hell
'And the god that gave me all this
'God gave me this because I'm humble
'And He can do the same for you, too
'But if you're seeking His love and affection
'What you're doing is the last thing I'd do
'He sends killers to hell fire
'Both here and eternally;
'The good live forever in a place called heaven
'God told me this personally.'

Who ya gonna trust if you can't trust me?

'So unless you want suffering and heartache
'Unless you want trouble and fear
'You better find some kind of way to humble yourself
'May I suggest helping me clean up around here?
'Course I could pay you a little bit of money
'But more importantly God would see
'And if He sees you working humbly
'Someday He may give you what He's given me.'
Well the crowd just didn't know what to do with that
Nor could they prove what he said wasn't true
And since he had what everyone else thought they wanted
It seemed like a thing to do
And with that we rolled into the future
And ain't it a son of a bitch
To think that we would still need religion
To keep the poor from killing the rich?

Who you gonna trust if you don't trust me?

Songwriter: Todd Snider