Lyrics:

I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight
With somebody twice your size

Well I've been known to cause a few break-ups
I've been been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from work

And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg, Bordeaux, France
Been makin' the bars lots of big money
And helping white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember we me
Alcohol...
Alcohol...

I got blame at your wedding reception
For your best man's embarrassing speech
And also for those naked pictures
Of you at the beach
I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemingway write like he did
And I'll bet you a drink or two
That I can make you
Put that lampshade on your head...

Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg, Bordeaux, France
Been making a fool
Out of folks just like you
And helping white people dance
I am medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember we me
Alcohol...
Alcohol...

Yeah since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg, Bordeaux, France
Been makin' the bars lots of big money
(Helpin' white people dance)
I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember we me
Alcohol...
Alcohol...