Lyrics:

A Fine Romance ( Kem Fields)

a Fine Romance My Good Fellow.
you Take Romance, I'll Take Jello.
you' Re Calmer Than The Seals In The Arctic Ocean,
at Least They Flap Their Fins To Express Emotion.

a Fine Romance With No Quarells,
with No Insults And All Morals,
i've Never Mussed The Crease In Your Blue Serge Pants,
i Never Get The Chance; This Is A Fine Romance!

a Fine Romance With No Kisses,
a Fine Romance My Friends This Is,
to Lack Half The Thrills That A Healthy Crime Has,
we Don't Have Half The Thrills That The March Of Time Has.

a Fine Romance With No Clinches,
a Fine Romance With No Flinches,
you're Just As Hard To Land As The Ile De France,
i Haven't Got A Chance.
my Heart Isn't Made Of Plastic, You're The Reason I'm Sarcastic; 'cause This Is A Fine Fine Romance!