Lyrics:

GASTON

Crazy old Maurice, hmmm?
Crazy old Maurice...
LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking

LEFOU

A dangerous pastime

GASTON

I know.
But that whacky old coot is Belle's father
And his sanity's only "so-so"
Now the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that loony, old man
See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Belle
And right now I'm evolving a plan

GASTON

If I . . . (whisper)

LEFOU

Yes?

GASTON

Then we . . . (whisper)

LEFOU

No! Would she . . .

GASTON

(whisper) Guess!

LEFOU

Now I get it!

BOTH

Let's go! No one plots like Gaston

GASTON

Takes cheap shots like Gaston

LEFOU

Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston

GASTON

Yes, I'm endlessly, wildly resourceful

LEFOU

As down to the depths you descend

GASTON

I won't even be mildly remorseful

BOTH

Just as long as I (you) get what I (you) want in the end

GASTON

Who has brains like Gaston?

LEFOU

Entertains like Gaston?

BOTH

Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston?
And his marriage we soon will be celebrating
My what a guy Gaston!