Lyrics:

I know a girl who
thinks it goes
she'll make you breakfast
she'll make you toast
but she don't use butter
and she don't use cheese
she don't use jelly
or any of these

she uses vaseline
vaseline (x 2)

I know a guy who
goes to shows
when he's at home and
he blows his nose
he don't use tissues
or his sleeve
he don't use napkins or
any of these

He uses magazines
magazines (x3)

I know who a girl who
reminds me of Cher
she's always changing
the color of her hair
she don't use nothing
that you buy at the store
she likes her hair to
be real orange

she uses tangerines
tangerines (x5)