Lyrics:

Oh yeah, up my ass

Up my ass

Up my ass
A lit candle
Up my ass
A firecracker, a finger, a thumb
Up my ass
An egg, a vibratin' egg, a scrambled egg
Up my ass
A dildo, strapped onto a mannequin, wearing a Nixon mask
Up my ass

Power tools, an electric drill
A screwdriver, a monkey wrench
Up my ass
A monkey
Up my ass

A potpourri of assorted fragrances
Up my ass
Up my smelly asshole
'Cause I'm not one of those guys
Who walks around pretending
That my shit don't stink
My shit stinks
I admit it
And right now
There is a lot of shit
Up my ass

Up my ass

Up my ass

Up my ass
And to the left

Up my ass
Step right up
Step right up
Come one, come all
Up my ass
Everyone and everything
Up my ass

Everything except for your skanky
Bullshit, artificial, plastic dick (oh yeah)
Looks like you bought it at the K-Mart
(Up my ass)
Fuck you with your bogus dildo(oh yeah)
You can shove that up your ass, honey, not mine
Up my ass
I got a special gift for you
Right here
Come and get it
It's up my ass

Up my ass

Up my ass

Up my ass

The Louisiana Purchase
Up my ass (up my ass)
The Encyclopædia Britannica
(Up my ass)
Up my ass
(Up my ass)
Your grandmother
Up my ass
Shields and Yarnell
Up my ass

Chocolates
Lollipops
Cakes and pies
And it's all for free
Children
Children