Lyrics:

And now, ladies and gentlemen
The Keeper of the Keys
The Countess of the Clink
The Mistress of Murderers' Row
Matron Mama Morton!

Ask any of the chickies in my pen
They’ll tell you I’m the biggest mother hen
I love them all, and all of them love me
Because the system works: the system called reciprocity

Got a little motto, always sees me through
When you’re good to Mama, Mama’s good to you
There’s a lot of favors I’m prepared to do
You do one for Mama, she’ll do one for you

They say that life is tit for tat, and that’s the way I live
So I deserve a lot of tat for what I’ve got to give
Don’t you know that this hand washes that one, too?
When you’re good to Mama, Mama’s good to you!

If you want my gravy, pepper my ragout
Spice it up for Mama: she’ll get hot for you
When they pass that basket, folks contribute to
You put in for Mama, she’ll put out for you

The folks atop the ladder are the ones the world adores
So boost me up my ladder, kid, and I’ll boost you up yours
Let’s all stroke together, like the Princeton crew
When you’re strokin’ Mama, Mama’s stroking you!

So what’s the one conclusion I can bring this number to?
When you’re good to Mama, Mama’s good to you!