Lyrics:

Well, I wake up in the morning
There's frogs inside my socks
Your mama, she's hidin'
Inside the icebox
Your daddy walks in wearin'
A Napoleon Bonaparte mask
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, do you have to ask?

Well, I go to pet your monkey
I get a face full of claws
I ask who's in the fireplace
And you tell me Santa Claus
The milkman comes in
He's wearing a derby hat
And you ask why I don't live here
Honey, how come you have to ask me that?

Well, I asked for somethin' to eat
I'm hungry as a hog
So I get brown rice, seaweed
And a dirty hot dog
I've got a hole
Where my stomach disappeared
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, I gotta' think you're really weird
Your grandpa's cane
It turns into a sword
Your grandma prays to pictures
That are pasted on a board
Everything inside my pockets
Your uncle steals
And you ask why I don't live here
Honey, I can't believe that you're for real

Well, there's fistfights in the kitchen
They're enough to make me cry
Little mailman comes in
Even he's got to take a side
Even the butler
He's got something to prove
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, how come you don't move?