Lyrics:

[Knopfler]
If I was staggerwing plane
A staggerwing painted red
I'd fly over to your house, baby
Buzz you in your bed
[Harris]
If I was a taperwing
A taperwing painted blue
I'd be barrell-rollin' over you
[Both]
You're gonna need a rider anyhow
Let me be your rider now

[Knopfler]
If I was a Maserati
A red 300 S
I'd ride around to your house, baby
Give you a driving test
[Harris]
If I was a Mustang racer
White with a stripe of blue
You could ride me, baby
Whenever you wanted to
[Harris]
You're gonna need a rider anyhow
Let me be your rider now

[Knopfler]
If I was a Fender guitar
A Fender painted red
You could play me, darlin'
Until your fingers bled
[Harris]
If I was one of them Gibsons
Like a '58 or '9
You could plug me in
And play me anytime
[Both]
You're gonna need a rider anyhow
Let me be your rider now

[Knopfler]
If I was a motorcycle
A Vincent red Rapide
I'd ride around to your house, baby
Get you up to speed
[Harris]
If I was short track racer
I'd be an Indian
You could ride me around
And ride me round again
[Both]
You're gonna need a rider anyhow
Let me be your rider now
You're gonna need a rider anyhow
Let me be your rider now