Lyrics:

Standing on a golf course dressed in PVC
I chanced upon a golf girl selling cups of tea
She asked me did I want one, asked me with a grin
For three pence you can buy one full right to the brim

So of course I had to have one  in fact I ordered three
So I could watch the golf girl, could see she fancied me
And later on the golf course after drinking tea
It started raining golf balls and she protected me

Her name was Pat
And we sat under a tree
She kissed me
We go for walks in fine weather
All together
On the golf course
We talk in morse

Standing on a golf course dressed in PVC
I chanced upon a golf girl selling cups of tea
She asked me did I want one, asked me with a grin
For three pence you can buy one full right to the brim

So of course I had to have one  in fact I ordered three
So I could watch the golf girl, could see she fancied me
And later on the golf course after drinking tea
It started raining golf balls and she protected me

Her name was Pat
And we sat under a tree
She kissed me