Lyrics:

(Warren Zevon and Larry Klein) I've got a bitter pot of je ne sais quoi Guess what-I'm stirring it with a monkey's paw Since I saw you coming out of my barber's shop In that skimpy little halter top Did you light the candles? Did you put on 'Kind of Blue?' Did you use that Ivy League voodoo on him, too? He thinks he'll be alright but he doesn't know for sure Like every other unindicted coconspirator Mata Hari had a house in France Where she worked on all her secret plans Men were falling for her sight unseen She was a genius There's a a face in every window of the Songwriters' Neighborhood Everybody's your best friend when you're doing well-I mean good The poet who lived next door when you were young and poor Grew up to be a backstabbing entrepreneur Albert Einstein was a ladies' man While he was working on his universal plan He was making out like Charlie Sheen He was a genius When you dropped me and you staked your claim On a V.I.P. who could make your name You latched on to him and I became A minor inconvenience Your protege don't care about art I'm the one who always told you you were smart You broke my heart into smithereens And that took genius You and the barber make a handsome pair Guess what-I never liked the way he cut your hair I didn't like the way he turned your head But there's nothing I can do or say I haven't done or said Everybody needs a place to stand And a method for their schemes and scams If I could only get my record clean I'd be a genius