Lyrics:

A friend brought me flowers, she said they were lilacs
I've never been good with plants
Her next presentation, a new dictionary
She circled the word "romance"

So enthusiastic, a little bit drastic
I shaved her name in my head
As she beheld it, she said I misspelled it
Need more be said?

These apples are delicious
"As a matter of fact they are," she said
Can all this fruit be free?

She wrote me a letter, as big as a phone book
I've never been big on mail
I sent her a postcard from somewhere near Lethbridge
And wondered if it still went by rail

I've never been frightened of being enlightened
But some things can go too far
Though sometimes I stammer or mix up my grammar
You get what my meanings are

These apples are delicious
"As a matter of fact they are," she said
Can all this fruit be free?

I'm not trying to sing a love song, I'm trying to sing in tune
I know I am sometimes headstrong
Falling in love, catching fire, I want to be consumed
Wondering will I ever tire, will I ever tire?

These apples are delicious
"As a matter of fact they are," she said
Can all this fruit be free?