Lyrics:

If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you a house
I would buy you a house

And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
I'd buy you furniture for your house
Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman

And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
A nice reliant automobile
And if I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
I'd build a tree-fort in our yard
If I had a million dollars you could help
It wouldn't be that hard

If I had a million dollars
Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge
In there somewhere
We could just go up there and hang out

Like open the fridge and stuff
And there'd all be foods laid out for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things

They have pre-wrapped sausages
But they don't have pre-wrapped bacon
Well, can you blame them?
Yeah

If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you a fur a coat
But not a real fur coat, that's cruel

And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet
Yep, like a llama or an emu

And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
All them crazy elephant bones
And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars
We'd take a Limousine 'cause it costs more

If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner
But we would eat Kraft dinner

Of course we would, we'd just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That's right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchups

If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you a green dress
But not a real green dress, that's cruel

And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you some art
A Picasso or a Garfunkel

If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you a monkey
Haven't you always wanted a monkey?
If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
I'd be rich