Lyrics:

Rowan Atkinson:

For years I thought
I'd have to live alone
I never got a letter
Had to disconnect the phone
The only girls I ever saw
Were on TV
But now I've got a Venus
Who's sitting next to me

Both:

Do I love you?
Do I want you?
Would I give my life
To you if I could?
Do birds fly?
Do fish swim?
And do bears sha-la-la-la-la
In the woods?

Rowan:

I met her in the first class lounge
Of a jumbo jet
It was love at first sight
Romeo and Juliet

Kate:

He looked pretty rich
And I was down on m' luck
So I charged him a fortune
For a flying f...

Rowan:

...for crying out loud!

Both:

Do I love you?
Do I want you?
Would I sacrifice my life
To you if I could?
Is the Pope Catholic?
Is Luxembourg small?
And do those hairy bears shhh...
In the woods?

Rowan:

I introduced her round my friends
She was ace
I was no longer on Earth
But in better place

Kate:

He's an utter creep and he
Drives me round the bend
And so to alleviate the boredom
I sleep with his friends

Rowan:

Ho ha ho

Both:

Do I love you?
Do I want you?

Kate:

Would I tear out both my eyes
And fry them if I could?

Both:

Is the Bible fiction?
Is True Love a contradiction?
And do bears sha-la-la-la-la
In the woods?

Do I desire you?
Do I adore you?

Rowan:

Would I cut off all my toenails
And put them in an envelope with my feet?

Both:

Is Reagan Godhead?
Is Chairman Mao dead?
And do those bears sha-la-la-la-la?

Rowan [really Tim Brooke-Taylor]:

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-ah

Kate:

Mmmmm...

Rowan [Tim]:

And do those bears sha-la-la-la-la?
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-ah

Kate:

Ahoo Ahoo
Yeah-ye-yeah Yeah-ye-yeah

Both:

Do those bears sha-la-la-la-ah?

Rowan:

On Main Street

Kate:

Oh Yeah Yeah-ye-yeah