Lyrics:

I'm glad I weren't no pioneer
Ridin' in a wagon cross the great frontier
I'm playin' by candlelight power's out here
And I can't watch tv

I can't do nothin' - nothin' at all
Everything comes from a switch on the wall
Drives me nuts when it won't behave
No popcorn from the microwave

Oh yeah yeah, yeah
Sky's real nice
Moon's real big
Stars real bright
Cable calls and it don't seem right
That I can't watch tv

And it breaks my heart all I'm missin'
Bowling shows, old guys fishin'
How the dogs on the track did
Near death stuff re-enacted
Where to call to talk to strangers
Interviews with hockey players
How to lose a pound a minute
Make big bucks, be rollin' in it
Shopping clubs, gladiators
Cher's make-up, roller skaters
Rhinestone studs in your new skirt
Bald guy stuff, psychic network
Don't you feel bad for me
That I can't watch tv

(Repeat Chorus)
Cable calls and it don't seem right
That I can't watch tv