Lyrics:

Foolish bride call me up, beg to scratch her itch
Rich old man got the needle, slipped and dropped a stitch
Name the time, name the price, leave your door unlocked
I'll bring a toy guaranteed to put the spring in your shocks

Something for nothing
Well, in and out, it's never free
Something for nothing
Leave the money where it's easy, easy to see

Gigolo sounds so cold, call me teacher's pest
Twice a day, double pay, at my trade I'm the best
Never late, watch her watch, seconds on the clock
Overtime, break my back, slip and fall in the crack

Something for nothing
Well, in and out, it's never free
Something for nothing
Leave the money where it's easy, easy to see

She plays the role of a roving matriarch
Diamond rings, fancy things, Dubonnet on the rocks
For a treat, gave it free, happy sixty three
Crazy days, easy money, I was just sixteen
Easy money for such a good deed

Something for nothing
Ya, in and out it's never free
Something for nothing
Satisfaction guaranteed

Something for nothing
Target practice in the dark
Something for nothing
I'm a crack shot on the mark
And I love my work

Something, nothing
Something, nothing