Lyrics:

(Spoken)
(Art:)
Paul and I go back to the sixth grade when we grew up in Queens. They cast the two of us in the elementary school graduation play Alice in Wonderland. I was the Cheshire Cat, and it's been a lot of laughs ever since. With a few interruptions this would be the fiftieth anniversary of this friendship that I deeply cherish.

(Paul:)
We met when we were eleven years old in Alice in Wonderland and I was the White Rabbit  its a leading role  and Artie was the Cheshire Cat  it was a supporting role, a very important, very important supporting role. Now, we started to sing together when we were thirteen years old, and we started to argue when we were fourteen years old. So that makes this the forty-seventh anniversary of our arguing.

(Art:)
Now we only argued about one thing if you want to know the truth, from the very beginning, there was only one thing that was the basis of everything else: when we first formed our group I wanted to call us Garfunkel and Simon.

(Paul:)
You should do that. Now we dont argue any more. Now we say, ...now we say: thats your opinion and I respect that. We made our first record when we were sixteen years old. They called us Tom Jerry, and our song was called "Hey School Girl in the Second Row", and it went like this...