Lyrics:

written by Warren Zevon and Carl Hiaasen 1995 Zevon Music BMI Got a Glock in the bedside table Machine gun leaning by the bedroom door Kevlar vest in the closet Well, I wear it when I go to the store Shadows on the window Rustling in the hedge Faces at the peephole Footsteps on the ledge If you come calling He'll be mauling with intent to maim Don't knock on my door If you don't know my Rottweiler's name Halogen lights in the driveway Guardian Angels living next door One hundred pounds of unfriendly persuasion Sleeping on the Florida porch Slackers in the market Bangers in the mall Skinheads on the golf course Hunting for their balls If you come calling He'll be mauling with intent to maim Don't knock on my door If you don't know my Rottweiler's name Well, he's dreaming about an intruder or two And the promise of burglar blood He's yearning to chew on a gangster tattoo And to hear the proverbial sickening thud Shadows on the window Rustling in the hedge Faces at the peephole Footsteps on the ledge If you come calling He'll be mauling with intent to maim Don't knock on my door If you don't know my Rottweiler's name