Lyrics:

Now I'm a young inventor, a chap with good ideas
I've built meself a camera, it took me years and years!
It's a wonderful invention with special x-ray tricks
It can take a picture in the dark and can even see through bricks!
I bought meself an album and filled it up with snaps
And I've got some lovely pictures of the local girls and chaps!

Now I've got a picture of the girl next door
In me little snapshot album
And I've never had a better snap before
In me little snapshot album!
The night was dark and the hour was late
She was kissing her boy by the garden gate
Hey, wouldn't she love to see page eight
In me little snapshot album!

And I've got a picture of me old grandad
In me little snapshot album
He's over eighty but a real bad lad
In me little snapshot album
Although he's an old antique
He thinks he's still the village sheik
I've got him dancing cheek to cheek
In me little snapshot album!

Now I've got a picture of the vicar's wife
In me little snapshot album
Chasing the curate with a carving knife
In me little snapshot album!
Now what he did was all in fun
But it's not the kind of thing that's done
I can see he pinched her hot cross bun
In me little snapshot album!

And I've got a picture of a nudist camp
In me little snapshot album
All very jolly but a trifle damp
In me little snapshot album
There's uncle Dick without a care
Discarding all his underwear
But his watch and chain still dangles there
In me little snapshot album!