Lyrics:

Subs'tute my gloo-oom with happiness
I subs'tute my sickness with hea-ealth
I subs'tute my enemies with a-real good frie-eh-ends
Morphine & chocolate are my substitutes, are my substitutes
Morphine & chocolate can bring me uh-oop
Can warm my heart for me, whenever I want eh-eht
And every once in a while, when I, I stop and thiy-yah, ay-ank
Morphine & chocolate are my substitu-utes, are my substitu-utes
(And you can say, 'Hey')
And you can say, 'Hey-yay!'
You've really come a long way-yay!
(And you can say, 'Hey')
And you can say, 'Hey-yeh'
It can only be this way
You might be careful, oh, it really hurts when it's real
You might be careful, oh, it really hurts when it's ree-ehl
You might be careful, oh, it really hurts when it's ree-ehl
You'll go down, down, down, oooh
Set the alarm clock, baby
Don't you miss the sun?
You know, I'm feeling really warm-hearted, now, baby
And don't you know, I'm feelin' like someone
I'm fearing for my life, again, and I'm, I'm fearing for my heart
Well, morphine & chocolate could never ah-substitute my ah-art!
(And that's real love, baby)
(And that's real love, baby)
Ain't that real love?
Ain't that real love, now, baby-eh?
(And that's real love, baby)
Ain't that real luh-oov?
Ain't that real love, now, baby-eh?
(And that's real love, baby)
Ain't that real luh-oov, Ain't that real luh-oov, ooh?
Oh-hoh