Lyrics:

Try and be kind to Mr Humphries in room 5
He gets grumpy trying to keep hope alive
And though the well is dried up
He won't give or shut up
It's still hoping
 
He spent his life on the television
He even had a catch phrase of his own
Made a great entrance on the stage
A free man walking from the cage
Millions loved him
Hoping
 
His advice to the young
Always leave 'em wanting more
You can't calm the savage beast
But you can make him less of a bore
The heart it don't need
Brave words or deeds
It just keeps hoping

Keep it light, keep it bright
You're the thing they forget
And in the end no one's a friend
And your fortune becomes a debt
 
So be kind to Mr Humphries
Though you think his role is small
A smile that breaks the darkness
Never has to beg, never has to crawl
Every breath is a prayer
It don't cave in or scare
It's hoping
 
You won't find the sun
If the dead light your way
Distract 'em, keep 'em laughing
Cause you'll never have enough to pay