Lyrics:

You did not like us 'cause your girlfriend likely does
And all your friends agree on her soft spot for me
I'll have my hard hands over her soft spots soon you will see

And if you want a list of all her favourite bits
Then next time I am free, quite comprehensively
I will scrawl them all down for you as an apology

Tell her the times we shared that broke have been repaired
Cinders of our old jokes have once again been stoked
But with a different girl, funnier now they've been rehearsed

All night hung on your every word
Till we were interrupted by the birds
Singing 'Oh your mask is slipping, Oh your mask is slipping'

Songs I've written about your girlfriend
Are just songs of spite since it came to an end

'Cause I never made her smile like that
And she never made me smile right back
Although I always made her purr like a cat
She said I never made her smile like that

She stubbed her home club's crest on me with cigarettes
A swift that matched the bird upon her football shirt
She would lift the hem, she would wear that thing like a skirt

The last time I was there she let me wear her clothes
She painted my lips red so that we both ensured
I kissed her every inch, my god the girl looked like she'd burned