Lyrics:

Alright. Bitch! Funky muthafuckin' fresh
Some of that '93 old school shit, hoe.

Well I'm Too $hort baby, hear what I say
I never do work but I always play
'Cause the game is life & I play the game
So you never talk down on a player's name
When I grab my mic I'm the one man crew
Talkin' 'about me, wouldn't think about you
When you heard Too $hort came to town
You never would've thought I'd be lookin' down.
On who? On you 'cause I'm so big
Me & my money is all I dig
I'm from the dangerous crew, we ain't no punk
We take 24 tracks, drop the funk on your ass
Beatin' like a dope fiend
Back seat ridin' in a limosine
Tellin' that freak all about me
The creater of greater, sucker MC's
Chillin' out in the oaktown singin' a rap
No MC could rock like that
Now I say it like bitches say
No MC could rock my way
When I rap it's always great
Wouldn't care if it was like or on a tape
It's me, $hort, the one & only
Spittin' that rap to all my homies
You know about you, you know I'm a star
When I rap too good I might take it too far
Had the whole damn crowd goin' wild
'Cause I don't stop rappin' that's my style
Too $hort baby from east oakland
I got more hoes than I can count on my hand.
You got women? Well I got more.
You don't know? Shit, I'm Playboy $hort
They call me playboy $hort known everywhere
Had a life long dream to be a player
Way too cold at a younger age
It was every day, just make that page
Still playin' the same, still young at the game
Never talk down on a player's name
'Cause I'm big time, paid all my dues
I'm rich & famous & way too cool
People can't fuck with the way I'm rhymin'
They say it's too slow but it bought these diamonds
Too $hort baby is the name I use
A '93 lexus is what I cruise
Clean from the start, I thought I was it
I was cadillac slick in the dust I kick
But the caddy got parked 'cause I'm ridin' new
Eastside bitch, so I'm sidin' fool
Money everywhere, all over the flow
At the bank I'm known as Mr. $hort
At the house I be chillin' gettin' some head
Writin' raps all day, even in bed
& them groupy ass bitches love this shit
The funk rap master, made to fit
Just her, I'm all in them guts
Homeboy can't fuck so I hooked it up
But young women like you with your big round asses
Blind girls drivin' down the street called love
Chasin' that man, who really can't stand
Seein' your face so now you ran
& you don't realize what you'll soon see
The way makin' love is supposed to be
With a player known as playboy too
Rock a mic & a freak & you'll both be through
Players play women who like to get played
Bitched like you just tryin' to get laid
But I like money & I get paid
I do my duty & say good day
I didn't want to make love, I'm not that fast
What the hell, she's a freak, she even asked
So let's go to my room, after the show
Treat me like a pimp & pay me hoe
You can suck my dick & I might sing
Just love Too $hort, I'm everything
So cool, my name is too
Call it how you want but I won't call you
Ring my phone & you might see
Ringing my phone just won't get me
'Cause I'm hard to find & I get mine
& if I was lookin' for you, I wouldn't be in line
I'd be right on time in the right place
Too $hort baby all in your face
Talkin' 'about mine & what I want
Fuckin' MC's with the dangerous funk
I'm on my way, to the top
So much rappin' I'll never stop
& all that fame, you might claim
Couldn't stand up by my rap name
You might be good, I don't care
I've been rappin' like this 13 long years
I got more respect then you'll ever get
'Cause I don't stop rappin' & you know that shit
Sucker MC's with your record deal
Most tapes out now couldn't be real
'Cause your tracks ain't shit, dreamin' 'about hits
But you'll find out Too $hort don't quit
When I grab my mic I'm the one man crew
Talkin' 'about me, wouldn't think about you
When you heard Too $hort came to town
You never would've thought I'd be lookin' down... [fades out]