Lyrics:

Lorna
Mista Paper, Senator Pullman he just call.
He ask how come ya don need no watah

Norman
Don't need water!

Lorna
Well, you let the barge go by
He comin' to talk to you

Norman
Who is Senator Pullman anyway?
Why do I have to signal the barge?

Iris
Welcome to the Caribbean, put on a shirt at least.
The big enchilada is on his way

Senator Pullman
Mr. Norman Paperman, I presume?
Joinin' us in Kinja for de tourist boom?

Norman
Norman Paperman at your service.
Meeting the kingpin, I'm slightly nervous

Pullman
Mr. Paperman, I here to be your friend
But there's just certain rules here we can not bend

Paperman How about the water? My cistern's flat.

Pullman
Why sure, I come to take care of dat

Chorus
BUT You gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about da tings you learned in school
We use a different box of tools
And you gotta play by Kinja rules

Pullman
Now dis alien ain't bonded for no gondolier
He's bonded for GARDENER-dat why he here
De Chief of Immigration a power in dis town
Chief find out-your hotel close down

Paperman
Hereafter gardening's all he'll do I didn't know, I swear to you

Pullman
Doan' hoross yourself, it's okay mister
De Chief of Immigration-she's my sister

Chorus
BUT You gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about that civics course you learned in school
We ain't city folks, but we ain't fools
And you gotta play by Kinja rules

Pullman
Stop!

Paperman
How about my water?

Pullman
Hold you hosses I come to dat
Look at da chambermaid, she mighty fat
And if dat alien have her baby here
Dat baby an AMERICAN, free and clear
De Secretary of Interior, he gonna rave
And dat baby on your record
From da cradle to da grave
Your responsibility-I doan mean maybe
Da bottom line sir, dat YOUR BABY

Chorus
You gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about da tings you learned in school
We use a simple box of tools
And you gotta play by Kinja rules

Paperman
I'll send her away-but this club's bone dry

Pullman
No problem, lots of watah you can buy

Paperman
Buy water, Senator?
That's your advice?

Pullman
Chief of Public Works give you a special price

Paperman
Chief of public works
Who's he-your brother?

Pullman
Ha ha, not bad she's Lorna's mother

Chorus
SO You gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about da tings you learned in school
We use a different box of tools
And you gotta play by Kinja rules

Paperman
Senator, I thank you.
Now one thing's clear
I've got to hire a Kinjan gondolier

Pullman
Now dat a problem-

Paperman
What's the reason

Pullman
No unemployment-it's high season
Can't hire no Kinjan to wear dis hat

Paperman
And I can't use an alien?

Pullman
Don't ask dat

Paperman
You've been a great help, sir-you've got my vote
Just tell me-who's going to row that boat?

Pullman
YOU gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about da tings you learned in school
Just take it easy, play it cool
But be sure to

Paperman joins Pullman

Play by Kinja rules

Extra Chorus
You gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about that civics course you learned in school
God watches out for drunks and fools
But forget the Ten Commandments here
Kinja rules
Kinja rules
Kinja rules
Kinja rules

Pullman
Norman Paperman, I feel you soon adjust to Kinja, hahaha