Lyrics:

Parody of the Backstreet Boys‘ “I Want It That Way”, Al Yankovic expresses his dismay that he can’t seem to stop buying things online.
Yeah

A used pink bathrobe
A rare mint snowglobe
A Smurf TV tray
I bought on eBay
My house is filled with
This crap, shows up in
Bubble wrap, most every day
What I bought on eBay

Tell me why
I need another pet rock
Tell me why
I got that ALF alarm clock
Tell me why
I bid on Shatner's old toupée
They had it on eBay

I'll buy your knick-knack
Just check my feedback
'A++!' they all say
They love me on eBay

Gonna buy
A slightly-damaged golf bag
Gonna buy
Some Beanie Babies, new with tag
From some guy
I've never met in Norway
Found him on eBay

I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got PayPal or Visa, whatever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough!

I'll buy your tchotchkes
Sell me your watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy)

I'm highest bidder!
Junk keeps arriving in the mail (Ye-e-eah)
From that worldwide garage sale (A Dukes Of Hazzard ashtray)
Hey! A Dukes Of Hazzard ashtray (Oh yeah)
I bought it on eBay

Wanna buy
A Pac-Man Fever lunchbox
Wanna buy
A case of vintage tube socks
Wanna buy
A Kleenex used by Dr. Dre (Used by Dr. Dre)
Found it on eBay
Wanna buy
That Farrah Fawcett poster
PEZ dispensers and a toaster
Don't know why
The kind of stuff you'd throw away
I'll buy on eBay

What I bought on eBay-y-y-y-y...