Lyrics:

Now friends you'd never guess it,
So I might as well confess it,
I just met the sweetest woman of my long dismal life.
And a friend of mine says buddy,
In case your mind is muddy,
Don't you know that girl you're talkin' to is
Peg Leg Johnson's wife?
That man is big and ugly and he's mean and grim,
And he's gonna kick your ass with his artificial limb.
But next morning bright and early,
I ran off with Peg Leg's girlie,
And I also took his wooden leg just to play it safe.
But there weren't no time for laughter,
Cause he started hoppin' after.
And I keep on runnin' faster but he won't give up the chase
And I'm running around the mountain with his bride,
And I got his goddamn leg here by my side.

(CHORUS)
And I'm a three-legged man with a two-legged woman
Being chased 'round the country by a one-legged fool.
He's a hoppin' and a floppin' and he shows
No sign of stoppin',
And I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel.

From the mountains and valleys,
Across the dark Chicago alleys,
From the Rocky Mountain waters,
To the hills of Caroline,
In and out of Pennsylvania,
Up and down the Allegheny,
Every time I turn around,
He is just one foot behind.
And I know he's gettin' tired and wet and sick,
But in spite of all his problems he can't kick.

And I'm a three-legged man with a two-legged woman
Being chased 'round the country by a one-legged fool.
He's a hoppin' and a floppin' and he shows
No sign of stoppin',
And I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel.

He must be ragged and filthy by now,
And I've been feeling sorta guilty ever since
That morning last week
When I heard him plead and beg,
Says in spite of all your stealin',
I won't bear you any hard feelings.
I know Margie doesn't love me, but give me back my leg
Because although the leg you meant to take was wooden,
In the dark there by mistake you took the good one

And I'm a three-legged man with a two-legged woman
Being chased 'round the country by a one-legged fool.
He's a hoppin' and a floppin' and he shows
No sign of stoppin',
And I tell you boys this life,
And I tell you boys this life,
And I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel.