Lyrics:

(Phone Intro: Logic (Marty Randolph & Female Voice))
Let's see here, uh, (301) 776-43...
This motherfucker better pick up the God damn phone this time, Jesus Christ
Thank you for calling RattPack Industries
Yes hel...
Where we don't fuck with anybody
Someone will be with you momentarily
Jesus man, seriously? Jesus bro, fuck bro...
Current wait time is 1 minute
Fuck man, fuckers better not have me waiting all God damn day in here-Jesus...
While you wait, please listen to a word from our sponsors...

(Skit: YaLocalWhiteBoy, Logic (Marty Randolph & Female Voice))
Y'know, it's crazy 'cause it's two types of motherfuckers
It's one motherfucker talking 'bout:
Oh Logic's so slept on, he's so lowkey...
Knowing damn well this motherfucker did 135K first week
First fucking week!
Then it's other motherfuckers talking 'bout:
Oh, Logic's blowing up, he's getting so big now. I don't want him to blow up on me. Oh, Logic's changing...
'Cause he made a turnt ass mixtape!
We're going to be bumping this shit the whole summer!
The fuck?!
Current wait time is 36 minutes...
36 minutes? It was just a minu-it was just one minute!
What the fuck?!
And do y'all not listen to lyrics?
He's making a whole other concept album
That's fucking insane!
This man dropped a project every year for six years
I mean, I'm not complaining though but-
Current wait time is 1 hour, 40 minutes...
1 hou-what the f-?! This, this-this is gotta be hands down the fucking worst customer service of all time
You can just-I can't-
This motherfucker made a number one album!
What?
Made a mixtape after...
Oh my God-
And then he's making another concept album...
This is fucking bullshit...
Like his first shit didn't already go Number 1?!
Nobody cares...
This motherfucker's on a roll!
Nobody 'cares'!
This motherfucker's like butter, he's on a roll motherfucker!
Current wait time is...
Okay God, thank God!
16 hours
What the...? What the fuck?!
And it's peace, love and positivity
Logic is the only rap concert you can go to
And not get shot in the face
Like this motherfucker actually loves his fans
You name it: YouTube videos, Periscope, Vlogs, Q&A's
This motherfucker does it all!
You name it, he does it! The fuck?
What fucking rapper does that?!
Current wait time is...
Okay...?
Go fuck yourself
Go-go fuck...? What?!
And this motherfucker
Can solve up to seven Rubix Cubes in a minute...
Who the fuck do you know can do that?!
This is ridiculous!
No one is available at this time
WHAT?! I'm gonna let this motherfucker have it!
Please leave a message after the tone...

(Spoken: Logic (Marty Randolph))
Oh, hey-hi, Logic...
Hey, how's it going?
My name's Mar-Rick-
My name's Randy Mardoff
Definitely never spoken before...
I was calling just to say, uh
Just wanted to wish you, ugh, lots of uh, suc-success...
And uh, maybe we can have some lunch
I don't know if this is a direct line to you
But yeah, once again this is, uh, uhm-Randy Mardoff
Never spoken before...
You can call me back at any time, m'kay?
All right, bye

(Logic (Marty Randolph))
Oh shit... fuck! I didn't leave my number! I gotta fucking call back and deal with this shit again?!